Thursday, January 14, 2010

What?! Not done yet?

The other day I was with a friend and we were drawing cards from her Mermaid & Dolphin deck asking what was needed to move forward in what we were preparing to do.  Cards that stated forgive or forgiveness kept coming up.   Neither of us knew what we were supposed to forgive. Of course we get blinded just like everyone else at times to the situations in our lives.  We hold the idea we have completed whatever it is and moved through the situation leaving nothing else to do.  I am well aware of the saying "we are like onions, peel one layer to reveal another."  Yet, I was convinced the forgiveness card was more hers than mine. 

Last night during a dream I found out that the card was  meant as much for me as it was for her.  I had a very profound healing dream that came from forgiveness.  I know that much of my teaching comes from my humanness.  I would like to share a bit of what it was all about with you. 

Many years ago I became involved in a relationship that was abusive mentally, emotionally and physically.  During this relationship I turned my back on my family and went against their warnings and wishes.  Only to find out in the long run they were on the mark.  You know how it is, if we are meant to do something it makes no difference what anyone else says we jump in head first.

In last nights dream I saw a figure of a man it was not the man from the relationship (or it did not seem so at the time) in which many of the occurances during the relationship did happen including the warning of the family and me turning my back on them.  I saw the hurt and anger I had felt as he threw challenge after challenge at me ( that is the way it was presented in the dream).  At the end of the dream I saw the energy flashing from my eyes as I looked at him and then he spoke the words, "and now you are finsihed with me aren't you."  It was as much a statement as a question.  I again saw the energy of my eyes as they flared, then instantly they softened and calmed and I said " No, I am not finished.." 

I then saw both of us on either side of a large bathtub.  I turned on the water.  As I did this I saw the fresh clean water enter the tub and then begin to rinse away grey water that had been there.  I noticed that this water was not very dark just a light shade of grey.  I knew this was important (I realized the next day it signified that much of the emotion had been cleansed/cleared earlier) I saw the tub turn into something that was similar to a water slide and the grey water went down the tub/slide and into a large drain leaving only clean clear water moving through it. 

With that I saw myself change to a very maternal figure and he shifted to a child of about three years old and climbed into my lap.  I enfolded him with my arms and held him in a bond of love as he rested his head against me. 

I woke from that dream at that point.  I knew immense forgiveness and healing had happened.  I knew that the energy that was  needed to heal what had been that relationship took place.  There is and intense feeling of peace within me.  When we understand that what we experience has much more to it than we see it allows all that is meant to happen take place. 

Next maybe I won't be so quick to think that the message is not for me.  As it always worked out perfectly.  I would say the message of this is that even when we believe we are done with something that may not necessarily be so.  Healing has to move through the layers as you are open and ready for that next step in the process. 

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